-your mom yelling at your dad for not hitting the “record” button quick enough on the VCR to catch your “HEY TOM, HOW’S THE WEATHER?” snippet from the school fun night
-making a whirlpool at the International Inn at a birthday party via convincing everyone to run in a circle between the “island” and the shallow end of the pool – and knowing there used to be a palm tree on the island at one point
-getting Fruit Gushers stuck in your teeth on the way to free gymnastics classes at the Auditorium
-helping Randy Beard compose a song for one of The Pillars of Character. What rhymes with Trustworthiness?
-feeling jealous of the birthday girl who got the new Mary-Kate and Ashley movie at her birthday party at Easter Seals, but getting retribution when her paddle board came up and hit her on the chin while she was swimming
-renting every single one of the five Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers VHS tapes available at Premiere Video
-being able to remember that the shelves that used to contain the kid’s section at Premiere Video are now the designated “Adult” room
-having Premiere Video somewhere on your work resume
-you have one cupboard that is still stacked with an infinity of Bonanza’s plastic cups and matching red lids
-knowing where to avoid the geese at Oak Park when you race through on your knock-off Razor scooter
-watching them make your pizza through the giant window at Happy Joe’s Pizza. When it was at Dakota Square. You know, the original location!
-your mom getting mad when you’re late for a birthday party at Roosevelt Park because you can’t find your rubber band/waterproof slide pass you’re supposed to share with your sister. The birthday girl will receive at least two packs of gel pens and a BOP It! if she’s lucky
-having a dance recital at the Dome
-teaching non-native Minotions the dangers of the cave where the tricycle-riding-alien emerged at Planet Pizza. A kid died in there once, you know.
-claiming your space at the Library puppet show with the biggest carpet square
-dreading looking at all the art projects at the North Dakota State Fair and feeling entirely smug when you find one of yours and it has a ribbon. Then inspecting all the winning banana bread displays to see if any of them have started to mold
-hoping you had a chance to win Limbo or Four Corners at the Skatium. Alas, it was never to be.
-Finishing your food at Ryan’s and being slightly creeped out by the clown plate
-having cracked at least one sled/rib by hitting an overly icy patch while sledding on the Magic City hill
-getting scolded by a parent for hitting the “Services Needed in Layaway” button at the K-mart counter in constant, quick succession. The sooner the final payment is made, the sooner you get your light-up tennis shoes
-making an appointment at Trinity and when they ask for your doctor’s name you still want to say Dr. Blehm because that’s the last time you knew your doctor’s name
-NORTH HILL HARDEES USED TO HAVE THE BEST DAMN BALL PIT IN TOWN
-listening to Hanson’s MMMBop while keeping time with your Skip-It. And if you happen to knock your sister in the ankles with the counting end, that’s her fault for not giving you enough space on the driveway
-getting a birthday party invite for North Hill Bowl. It’s not a pool party, but at least there will be pitchers of soda and the birthday room will be more spacious than the birthday nook at the Skatium. And nobody had better get the lime green ball before you.
-riding the miniature train through Roosevelt Park and seeing a cute boy in Zubaz pants. Choo choo bitches.
-the Zoo used to hand out these brown paper bags full of carrot slices and other leftovers to feed the animals; how many stale Graham crackers could you convince your little sister to eat until your parents notice?